A letter to Mark, the optometrist wannabe flight attendant

After giving it a little thought (okay, a lot of thought!), I emailed Mark R., the hilarious optometrist who wants to be a flight attendant (scroll down two posts to read his letter), and told him to scrap that dream of becoming a flight attendant. Is he crazy? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a firm believer in going for your dreams and all, but he’s an optometrist, people! With a job like that you shouldn’t be allowed to dream, not when you’re already living the dream!

With that said, I suggested Mark consider working on a stand up routine about an optometrist who dreams about becoming a flight attendant. Seriously, how funny would that be? Based on his emails alone, the show has potential to be amazing. And you know people would fall in love with him, like people who have connections. Of course movie and television offers would soon start pouring in. Forget about working with me on that germ infested flying petri dish and baking those freakin chocolate chip cookies for the millionth time in the teeny tiny galley too small for one while wearing that dirty pin striped apron, when you could be staring in a television show wearing a designer pin striped apron!

Here’s what Mark had to say…

I actually thought about doing stand up. I just have a hard time sitting down and being creative to write out jokes and funny stories. I need to take one of those beginner classes given at the Improv Comedy club to get some pointers. Of course I am much funnier when I am drunk, but I am to old to get drunk every night do stand up and then go to work in the morning. I really would have to go to AA and I don’t mean the airlines. Better yet go to one of those rehabs to see all the cracked-out movie stars. I would have to pass on the Betty Ford Clinic I heard they make you clean bathrooms, and if I am detoxing I am not in the mood to clean no damn bathrooms. I was watching the Kathy Griffin’s show “My Life on the D List” and I wonder if I have to balls to do stand up. I watched one show where she totally bombed in front of this crowd and she stood there like a trooper and did her entire show. Me on the other hand would want to run and hide like a scared girl.
So what do you think? Just take the poll up there on the right and tell Mark what he should do!

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Heather Poole View All →

Yeah, that's me, the one standing in the aisle wearing flammable polyester...

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