We’re on the tarmac in Chicago and the flight attendant is walking down the aisle while the safety video is on and she sees this passenger on his cell phone talking and she’s like, Sir, you need to turn your cell phone off! And he’s like, hold on a minute, to whoever he’s talking to on the phone, and then he covers the mouthpiece with his hand and asks the flight attendant, what flight number is this? The flight attendant is all, Sir, you can’t be on your phone right now! The safety video is on. You need to turn it off. She’s all pointing at the safety video and it’s at that part where the guy in the suit reaches up and grabs the oxygen mask and places it over his nose and mouth, looking way too relaxed for a guy who has just placed an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth because he’s probably going through a decompression or something and should probably be hyperventilating with the rest of us. The man on the phone tells his friend to hold on again and says, I JUST NEED TO KNOW THE FLIGHT NUMBER, MA’AM! My colleague tells him she doesn’t know the flight number, which is kind of weird because I swear I saw her looking at our flight itinerary like five seconds ago when I asked her if she knew the flight number. TURN IT OFF she demands, making her eyes all squinty, which makes her look a little crazy and has zero affect on the man because he’s just looking at her as if it’s no big deal there’s a flight attendant screaming at him and looking all crazy. He tells his friend that the flight attendant is not being very helpful. That she’s putting a lot of stress on him. This only makes her put even more stress on him because she says TURN THE DAMN PHONE OFF NOW! RIGHT NOW! which not only makes him jump, but also works because he actually turns it off and puts it away.
Heather Poole 
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