10 signs there’s a newbie in first class

1. PHONES HOME – As soon as the first class virgin settles into the big, comfy, leather chair, they immediately begin to phone everyone they know during boarding to share exactly where they are, and they do so in a very loud voice as they recline the seat all the way back, giving a detailed description of just how far the seat actually goes. Amazing, isn’t it? Calls are followed by a self portrait which gets sent via text. Hi mom! 

 2. WON’T GIVE UP THE COAT – Flight attendants working in first class hang coats during boarding. Because the virgin is unfamiliar with airline procedures, they’ll usually wad up the jacket and shove it inside an overhead bin. If a flight attendant offers to hang it in the closet, the virgin always looks a tad bit worried about parting with the item. Don’t be afraid, coats will be returned fifteen minutes prior to landing.

3. STRANGE USE OF HOT TOWELS – Hot towels are distributed in first class before the meal is served. Most passengers use the steamy cloth to wash their hands, while some will use it to clean their eyeglasses or wipe down the tray table, all of which are acceptable uses of a hot towel. The virgin has been known to do things a tad bit differently. I’ve witnessed quite a few passengers giving the old armpits a good rub down. A couple of coworkers have even spotted passengers trying to eat the thing as if it were a spring roll.

4. ORDERS THE BREAD BASKET – Menus are passed out in first class. Inside passengers will find a selection of appetizers, entrees, desserts and wine. Off to the side it mentions that sourdough and multigrain rolls are served alongside the main course. The virgin has been known to order the bread basket as an entree choice. 



2 Replies to “10 signs there’s a newbie in first class”

  1. Ok, I have been guilty of one of these and I wasn’t even a newbie but WAS a newbie on this particular cabin that had the individual and fully-reclinable seats. It had to be a fluke. I was flying from PHL to CHL (Charlotte), a meer hour and 10 minutes AND I got upgraded (miles, not status) to an almost empty cabin. And damn it! Didn’t know when THAT would happen again (maybe a computer glitch?) So I was going to make it count. I ordered wine and reclined all the way, took a cat nap all the way flat. People laughed at me, including the purser but who cares! Carpe Diem.

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