Special requests, two cubes of ice & a man’s pair of pants

Dear Heather,

So the other day I was on a flight from Boston to San Francisco and I thought you might get a kick out of the following conversation that took place between the flight attendant working in first class and the passenger sitting beside me…

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Miss did you get a chance to look at the menu?

PASSENGER: Unfortunately

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: (Pauses. Smiles) Will you be dining with us tonight?

PASSENGER: I don’t like anything on the menu, I mean clam chowder and steak – gross and gross!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: I’m sorry, but that is all I have tonight.

PASSENGER: I mean, all of us are from California. We don’t like CLAMS or STEAK! I want two portions of salad, the dessert fruit plate as my meal, with still water – not sparkling, and red wine – but not with my nuts, WITH my meal, and NO dessert!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: (repeats the order) Got it!

PASSENGER: Wait, can I just have almonds? Oh forget it. I’ll pick out what I don’t want.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: (smiles, glances at me) And what will you be having for dinner tonight, Sir?

ME: I’ll have the chowder, please.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: (Big sigh, wink) Thank you!…. (walks away)

Just thought I’d share…



(A.K.A. Frequent-flyin-two-timin Ron)

Dear Ron,

Boston – San Francisco? Oh no no no, Ron, you must be confused, because your flight sounds a lot like my flight, only I worked the New York – Seattle route last night. I mean that was you, wasn’t it, sitting behind the first class passenger who wanted “just a little bit” of ice with Diet Coke, the passenger who looked absolutely disgusted when I placed a drink on her tray table with – count em – one, two, three, four cubes swimming around inside the glass? This, of course, resulted in a request for a spoon, ya know, so that she could scoop out two cubes and then drop them into the palm of my hand.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.