Too much food.

Yeah, umm, that’s what the middle-aged waiter said while rolling the husbands moo shu chicken into a burritolike wrapper Friday night. It was date night. There aren’t too many date nights around here anymore, not since the birth of my son, who just so happened to be the third wheel on our romantic night out at a local B rated Chinese restaurant a few blocks from our house. And as if that wasn’t enough, the waiter then shook his head in disgust, practically tossing the plate on the table, before mumbling, too much food, again! I’m sorry, but them is fighting words. TOO MUCH FOOD? Excuse me? Of course the husband let it slide. Now let me point out, snaggle tooth wasn’t exactly the picture of health with his little paunch hidden behind a black satin cumberbun. Oh no, he couldn’t hide that belly behind the stained white tuxedo shirt. My face, I’m sure, turned red, as I could feel the anger seething inside, and just as I was about to say something, though I’m not sure exactly what I planned on saying, the husband gently placed his hand on mine, smiled, and said, “let it go.” Then he took a bite of his oriental burrito and sighed in ecstasy. Let it go? Look, when you’ve got thirty pounds to lose, and nothing fits, NOT ONE THING, and you’ve been working out so hard with minimal results, harder than you’ve ever worked out in your entire life, harder than you did when you were a size 6/7 and at the top of your game, words like TOO MUCH FOOD have a tendency to trigger rage. In fact, 2 days later, as I sip my orange jubilee EAS protein shake, and as I wait for the munchkin to wake from his morning nap so we can pile into the mommy mobile and head off to the gym, I’m still bothered by it. But I’m also hoping to use the anger to fuel me through another long and torturous thirty minutes on the treadmill. Too much food my…

Food The Husband

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Heather Poole View All →

Yeah, that's me, the one standing in the aisle wearing flammable polyester...

6 Comments Leave a comment

  1. That was classic! Was this the place where we had the infamous night before shower dinner? Damn, I still crave those delicious vegetable pot-stickers that I reluctantly offered to others. Now that was TOO MUCH food! ha ha. I have to say that the waiters there were a bit snippy if I can recall. Though in retrospect maybe this guy remembers you from that night and somehow still holds resentment from the pre-teens (didn’t they have ordering issues?) That was a classic, wonderful night that could have been sitcom history had we been on a sitcom.
    It was especially classic with the bags of food packed up and left with Holly and Don.
    Well, I agree with your husband….let it go. The waiter has issues and he sounds like a real grump.

  2. I think Layla is FINALLY falling asleep! Is this really happening????

    Breakfast-coffee
    Lunch-tofu pad thai

    I think I am going to go on a new diet that I made up today. I can eat whatever I want but for dinner I will just have a bar. I have done this before and lost a lot of weight. I have 13 more pounds to lose and a month left to lose it. I can do it.

  3. Oh my, I remember your yummy pot-stickers you really didn’t want to share, and the incredible tofu dish you designed that I have yet to perfect when ordering. And yes, that was the place, the same place I had my shower.

    yo, sister, don’t eat the bar. Eat a boiled egg or something instead. Have a glass of milk, nonfat chocolate milk (mmmm). I don’t know how you get those bars down, not even with a gallon of water.

    For anyone who may be interested, i just finished eating an excellent chicken curry salad sandwich on an english muffin. Dinner tonight shall be Turbot (fish) with a side of brown rice and sauteed brussel sprouts. I think.

  4. Sister,
    The bags of stinky leftover food were, I think, left at your hotel room as a joke – by Neil. Maybe you guys never saw them???? Maybe the front desk person ate it all! Sick, I know. I just remember someone (maybe Betty) saying, “Well, this will make a nice lunch tomorrow.” Heave, blahhhh. Nasty moo-shoo crap. Good for dinner, but not the next day.
    Also, I haven’t told you and Don…..Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl! Your blog is awesome!

  5. Thank you! My blog is boring. I think I will move mine over to this one. Just kidding.

    I am sitting here in the same place looking out the window. I just waved to the two lawn guys. They must think I sit here all day every day.

    Ok so the mailman was just at my door with a package. I signed for it. The box says URGENT Express mail from UPS. Ready for this? Inside is a little box with a small “silver plated comb and brush set.” No note-nothing..Just a mini sized brush set. I have been examining the package to try to read where it came from and it looks like Heather’s handwriting but it isn’t her zip code. This is really strange and I am scared I just opened something with Anthrax (sp). Maybe I should go wash my hands??

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