I received this funny story in an email today and I’d like to share it with you, because we all knew this one was inevitable when the iPhone commercial rolled out — now didn’t we?
We push back, get advised of a ground stop due to storms in the area. Go to the penalty box and wait. My Captain does the lecture over the PA… not one minute later, we get dinged from the F/A “Some guy with an IPhone says the weather is good, and wants to know what the real reason is for the delay. Is something wrong with the plane?” I want to tell this clown what he can do with his IdiotPhone – but the Captain does it even better. He gets on the PA and makes the following announcement :
“If the passenger with the IPhone would be kind enough to use it to check the weather at our alternate, calculate our fuel burn due to being rerouted around the storms, call the dispatcher to arrange our release, and then make a phone call to the nearest Air Traffic Control center to arrange our timely departure amongst the other aircraft carrying passengers with IPhones, then we will be more than happy to depart. Please ring your call button to advise the Flight Attendant and your fellow passengers when you deem it ready and responsible for this multi-million dollar aircraft and its passengers to safely leave.”
That Captain rocks! Now where the hell is he when I’m flying? Pilots aren’t the only ones making news today. Check out this amazing stew…
By MARK NIESSE, Associated Press Writer
HONOLULU – When Patti Smart was hired as an Aloha Airlines stewardess 50 years ago, it was a different job for a different time. She rubbed elbows with Frank Sinatra, performed in-flight fashion shows and danced in smoke-filled aisles aboard cramped DC-3s seating two dozen passengers. Smart, nicknamed the “Queen of Aloha,” retires Friday after more than a half-century on the job she started when she was 18 years old. A lot has changed since the old days, when people dressed up in hats and bow ties to fly on propeller-powered planes across the Pacific.
“You’re supposed to have the same niceness, the same warmth, the same caring. But it’s faster now,” Smart said. “In the older days, the flights were longer so you had more time to be intimate with passengers and you got to be very good friends with them.”
Smart has the third most years in the sky among the 55,000 flight attendants represented by the Association of Flight Attendants. The most senior flight attendant in the nation started her job in 1950. Smart was paid $170 per month for 85 hours of work after she was hired on Jan. 28, 1957. Today, as the airline’s most senior flight attendant (they’re not called stewardesses anymore), she makes $43.50 per hour catering to first-class passengers on flights between Orange County, Calif., and Honolulu. Hearing Smart reminisce over times gone by makes her job sound more like fun than work. She laughs when remembering affable celebrities, prankster pilots and a box-like cart that sheltered passengers from the rain as they disembarked. The job has grown on her so much that she’s reluctant to leave.
“There will be sparks flying from my feet as they drag me down the runway,” she said.
ME TOO! Seriously, I totally understand how she feels. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, flying is a disease. Once you do it, you can’t quit. It’s in the blood. And if you do actually take that leap, you may just find yourself wishing you hadn’t. It’s a lifestyle. Not a job.
Which leads me to another story, the one about the article published in the NY Times the other day titled Should Hillary Clinton Be A Flight Attendant. I must admit, I may know a few people who’d actually get a kick out of the Hillary Clinton nutcracker pictured. But now I’m getting off subject. In the article, Mr Fisman, a 36-year-old Columbia economics professor who conducted a two-year study on dating, discusses the experiment…
“I guess I had hoped men had evolved beyond this,” he said in a phone interview. “It’s like that ‘Sex and the City’ episode where Miranda went speed-dating. When she says she’s a lawyer, guys lose interest. Then she tells them she’s a flight attendant and that plays into their deepest fantasies.”
Okay, let’s get something straight here. I’m a flight Attendant. I work out of New York. When I was single, I dated in Manhattan. But whenever I told a man, at least the man I was interested in, what I did for a living, the normal response was a little smile followed by a polite, “Excuse me.” And then he’d disappear. I’m not joking! However, when I’d tell a man about my old job designing watches for a well known watch company, a job that bore me to death, their interest was peaked. Whatever. Personally, I think flight attendants are the smartest and most interesting people I’ve ever met. And I’ve met a lot of people. Trust me.
Yeah, that's me, the one standing in the aisle wearing flammable polyester...