YOU KNOW YOU’RE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN…

If you’re a flight attendant, you’ve probably already seen this joke. If you’re not lucky enough to live the glamorous life, and you’re actually thinking about picking up trash at 35,000 feet for a living, you may not want to send in that application for the job just yet.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN…

1. YOU NEVER REALLY UNPACK.

2. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU CLEAN OUT YOUR SUITCASE, YOU STILL FIND ANCIENT HIDDEN TREASURES IN IT.

3. YOU FIND FOOD, CART SEALS, AND THE LOST ITEMS IN YOUR APRON POCKETS WHILE DOING THE LAUNDRY.

4. YOU LOOK TO THE CEILING WHEN YOU HEAR A DOOR BELL RING.

5. YOU WISH THERE WERE JET ENGINES IN YOUR BEDROOM AT HOME TO HELP YOU FALL ASLEEP FASTER.

6. YOU FIND YOURSELF STANDING AT YOUR KITCHEN COUNTER WHILE EATING A MEAL.

7. YOU DON’T EVER WRITE DOWN A FULL CITY NAME ANYMORE, I.E. SEA, DTW, SFO, LAX, NRT, MCO. BUGS THE HECK OUT OF YOUR NON-AIRLINE FRIENDS.

8. YOU KNOW HOW TO LOOK FRESH IN FOUR DAY OLD CLOTHES.

9. YOU CURSE EVERY BOSE HEADSET WEARING MORON, YES, THE ELECTRONIC DEVICES ANNOUNCEMENT ALSO MEANS YOU!

10. YOU ABSOLUTELY HATE BOARDING TIME, BUT YOU LOVE DEPLANING.

11. TURBULENCE IS NOT CAUSED BY WEATHER, BUT BY THE MOVEMENT OF
THE BEVERAGE CART.

12. YOU CAN’T BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A HOTEL VAN ACCIDENT.

13. YOU CAN HEAR THE DISTINCT SOUND OF AN ICE MACHINE A QUARTER MILE AWAY.

14. YOU REMEMBER DIFFERENT CITIES BY THE LAYOVER HOTELS.

15. YOU LOATHE YOUR CEO AND UPPER MANAGEMENT.

16. BUSINESSMEN ON THEIR CELL PHONES AND LAPTOPS RANK UP THERE WITH YOUR CEO.

17. PILOTS WHO REQUESTS THEIR MEALS OR LAV BREAKS DURING THE SERVICE RANK UP THERE WITH YOUR CEO.

18. YOU REMEMBER THE FEW PASSENGERS WITH GOOD MANNERS, WHICH IS SAD.

19. YOU CAN’T REMEMBER WHEN UNACCOMPANIED MINORS ACTUALLY BECAME BIGGER THAN YOU.

20. YOU ARE STILL AMAZED AT THE AMOUNT OF CARRY-ON LUGGAGE THE WHEELCHAIR PASSENGER BRINGS ONBOARD AND EXPECTS YOU TO LIFT AND STOW.

21. YOU ARE EQUALLY AMAZED AT THE AMOUNT OF CARRY-ON LUGGAGE THE INTERNATIONAL COMMUTING JUMPSEATER BRINGS BACK FROM CHINA TO RE-SELL AND EXPECTS YOU TO FIND STOWAGE SPACE FOR ALL OF IT ON YOUR DOMESTIC SHUTTLE FLIGHT.

22. YOU LOATHE INTERNATIONAL FLIGHT ATTENDANTS WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR 30 HOUR LAYOVER AND ONE NON-STOP FLIGHT, WHEN YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF FOUR DOMESTIC SHUTTLE LEGS AND HAD A 9.45 MINIMUM REST LAYOVER LAST NIGHT.

23. YOU LOVE FOREIGNERS BECAUSE THEY CANNOT ADEQUATELY COMPLAIN IN ENGLISH.

24. YOU HATE FOREIGNERS BECAUSE THEY CANNOT ADEQUATELY COMMUNICATE WHAT THEY WANT IN ENGLISH.

25. YOU SECRETLY CHEER WHEN ANOTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT HAS TO DEAL WITH THE ONBOARD MEDICAL EMERGENCY, AND NOT YOU.

26. YOU HATE ONBOARD DUTY FREE SALES ESPECIALLY NOW WITH THE NEW LIQUID EMBARGO.

27. YOU CANNOT STAND THE FREQUENT FLYER WHO SAYS, “I FLY MORE THAN YOU!”
28. YOU HATE WHEN HEAVY DRINKING PASSENGERS START CALLING YOU BY NAME LIKE AN OLD FRIEND

29. YOU LONG FOR DAYS WHEN IT WAS EASY TO RIG THE HOTEL ROOM TV FOR FREE MOVIES.

30. YOU DON’T WANT ANY PASSENGER TO TALK TO YOU WHILE DEADHEADING OR PASS RIDING.

31. YOU SECRETLY WANT TO SLAP SILLY THOSE STUPID IDIOT NAIL CLIPPING, FINGER NAILING POLISHING, NOSE PICKING, SNORING PASSENGERS.

32. YOU PASS RIDE IN UNIFORM SPECIFICALLY FOR THE LIQUIDS, GELS &CREAMS EXEMPTION.

33. IF A PASSENGER CANNOT FIND THE TOILET FLUSH HANDLE OR LAVATORY DOOR LOCK, THEN THEY SHOULD STAY IN THERE UNTIL THEY DO.

34. NO, I DO NOT HAVE A PEN.

35. YOU GET EXCITED OVER CERTAIN TYPES OF ICE, (I.E. ALHAMBRA, CRYSTAL, ETC).

36. YOU ARE EXCITED TO FIND A DIFFERENT TYPE CAN OF SODA IN YOUR CART THAT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ON YOUR AIRLINE.

37. YOU CANNOT STAND THE DELAYED REQUEST FOR “NO ICE”, AFTER YOU HAVE ALREADY SERVED THEM.

38. YOU HATE THAT PASSENGERS THINK THAT THEY CAN HEAR YOU WITHOUT HAVING TO TAKE THEIR HEADSETS OFF.

39. YOU HATE WHEN, AFTER FOUR PA ANNOUNCEMENTS ABOUT THE BEVERAGE AND SNACK BOX CHOICES, PASSENGERS STILL ASK YOU, “WHAT DO YOU HAVE?”

40. YOU HATE WHEN PASSENGERS CANNOT DECIDE WHAT THEY WANT TO DRINK WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN WATCHING THE BEVERAGE CART SLOWLY COME DOWN THE AISLE FOR OVER 20 MINUTES.

41. WHY DO PASSENGERS NOT REMEMBER WHAT THEY TAKE IN THEIR CUP OF COFFEE, OR HOW THEIR SPOUSE TAKES THEIR COFFEE AFTER 15+ YEARS TOGETHER.

42. YOU LOVE TO SLEEP.

43. YOU HATE EARLY MORNING DEPARTURES, WHO THE HELL HAS TO FLY TO DENVER AT 0540?

44. YOU WISH YOUR INFLIGHT MANAGERS ACTUALLY WERE FORMER FLIGHT ATTENDANTS AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES.

45. YOU CANNOT BELIEVE YOUR MOST SENIOR FLIGHT ATTENDANTS ARE IN THEIR 80’S, CAN AMAZINGLY MANAGE TO PASS EMERGENCY EVACUATION DRILLS AND RECURRENT TRAINING EVERY YEAR, BUT STILL CANNOT LIFT THEIR OWN SUITCASE INTO THE OVERHEAD BIN, HEAR ANYTHING, OR KEEP THEIR WIG ON STRAIGHT.

46. YOU WISH BABY BASSINETS WERE NEVER INVENTED.

47. YOU ARE GLAD THERE ARE NO HIDDEN CAMERAS IN THE GALLEY.

48. YES, REMAIN SEATED DURING THE SEATBELT SIGN ILLUMINATION, DOES MEAN YOU, SIR.

49. YOUR JUMPSEAT PARTNERS KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU THAN YOUR SPOUSE OR LIFE PARTNER.

50. YOU COULD RELATE TO AND UNDERSTAND ALL OF THESE ITEMS AND CAN EASILY ADD SIX MORE ITEMS TO THIS LIST.

flight attendant

Advertisements

Heather Poole View All →

Yeah, that's me, the one standing in the aisle wearing flammable polyester...

4 Comments Leave a comment

  1. I LOVE this! Have started a comment several times over but can’t seem to say anything original or interesting.

    LOL at too many on the list to count. We passengers are a whiny, noncooperative bunch.

    🙂

    LawyerChick

  2. I adore your blog! Just came across it today. I’m SO going to link to it from my page (not that anyone reads my blog… but they will… someday.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: