First computers and shoes, then liquids and gels, and now nipple rings – they must all be removed before walking through security. Even if the only way to remove them is with a pair of pliers. I’m not joking. Even I was surprised to learn that TSA really does keep a pair of pliers handy, just in case the dangerous nipple ring (or two) tries to walk through. I had to wonder just how many flight attendants were illegally sliding by on a daily basis?
Last night I was lying on the couch after watching another obnoxious Tivo’d episode of New York City Housewives (I just can’t get enough of Alex and Simon – the couple I love to hate), when the 11pm news came on. I was on the verge of falling asleep when I overheard the words TSA and Nipple Rings actually being used by a very monotone voice in the same sentence. That woke me up. I sat up, opened my eyes, and watched the report, the husband and I shaking our heads in unison, the exact same way we shook our heads when we heard about the pilot shooting his gun off in the cockpit. I mean what the hell is going on in the world, particularly in the world of aviation?
“Is this for real?” the husband asked, his eyes glued on the nude colored bra being examined on television.
Indeed it was for real. We REALLY were looking at a nude colored bra being pinned with nipple rings on television. Which lead to another question, a very important question.
“At what age is it inappropriate for a woman to sport nipple rings?” I asked.
While the husband looked as if he were actually deep in thought, pondering this seriously thought provoking question, I added, “30 or 35?” The woman on television HAD to be over 35.
“40,” said the husband, matter of fact. “They’ve got to go after 40, I don’t care how hot you are.”