Because I’m not feeling very creative today (got a cold) and because I REALLY need to work on my book (SKYDOLL), I am going to share another email from my favorite wannabe flight attendant slash optometrist who should really be a standup comedian slash optometrist. This guy’s gift belongs on the stage, not in the aisle! Don’t think I haven’t noticed that the poll over there on the right shows the majority of you think he should go for the damn dream and wear the pin striped apron in the galley. Perhaps this will change your mind…

Dear Heather,

You are making me a star! I do not have time to talk to you. I will have to get my publicist to answer my emails. Next I will have to move to Hollywood. Child, it will be like the Mexican Beverly Hillbillies coming to town. Thanks for putting my emails in your blog. I am very honored, so a deep hearted thank you!

Nothing new with the eye business, except everyone wants the Sarah Palin frames. Funny because I can get the knock offs faster than the real ones. I guess now that she lost I will not have to worry so much about trying to get her frame style. Now I’m just waiting for the next big trend in frames. Plastic frames have been popular for a while now so who knows what’s next. Take a picture of your Italian frames I want to see!

Get to work on your book. Then make it a serious of books. Then a TV show. Then you can buy a house in Malibu and we can sit on your veranda with cocktails and star watch. See if Janet Jackson is skinny (running the beach) or fat (eating on the beach), watch for a shirtless Matthew McConaughey just because he is fine, or see if Lindsay Lohan is still with her little butch bull dike girlfriend. The best part will be we will have to find you a butler, and it will have to be some big time frequent flier a-hole who has been downsized (fired) and now we can order him around for drinks, hot towels, mixed nuts, pillows, blankets, our special meal that catering never delivered, etc! You noticed the “we” in there!

Mark R.

Again, people, you need to vote! I’ve got the next big star on my hands and he doesn’t even know it. Wanna know what else I’ve got? Over 200 hits. Yesterday. And only 11 people voted? Excuse me, but what’s up with that? All it takes is one little click. That’s it. CLICK!

Mark, I need you to order me a pair of those knockoff Sarah Palin glasses. I don’t care that she lost. They made her look sexy. Lord knows I could use a little sexy. As for my Italian Marc Jacobs, I purchased them in Positano, Italy, at a cute little pharmacy located very close to the yummy gelato place in the center of town. If you can find a pair of knockoffs that are similar I’ll be forever grateful.