Obviously the best thing about being a flight attendant is being able to travel at a moments notice, as long as there’s an open seat available on the flight. The second best thing about being a flight attendant has got to be all those days off! The third best thing about being a flight attendant is that we never know what the day will bring, and being able to leave that day behind as soon as we step off the plane – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Or the not so ugly as was the case on my last trip.
“I’m sorry,” whispered my coworker, cutting his eyes at Taylor Treat, the winner of the Miss Oklahoma pageant this year. “But I’m prettier than her.”
I looked at her, looked at him, looked back at her, and tried not to laugh. Because…well…In his own special way my colleague did indeed give the beauty queen a run for her money, all 200 pounds of him, with flawless coco butter skin, lashes as long as J-Lo, and….wait a minute, was that gloss? His lips were unusually shiny.
“Why Andre…” I handed a passenger a can of Dr. Pepper. “I do believe you’re jealous!”
Snorting, he slapped a beverage napkin down on a tray table and turned to the last row of passengers. “Something to drink?”
Just another day on the job.
It had started out like any other day, only on this particular day when we arrived at the Oklahoma City airport I ripped my skirt leaping out of the crew van like a world class athlete. I don’t know what I was thinking, trying to make that five foot jump to the curb. The sound of fabric splitting caused my entire crew to gasp, which caused me to walk backwards, or sideways, depending on where passengers were located, as I made my way into the airport, through security, and onto the airplane.
One thing I’ve learned over the years is that bad things can lead to good things. It’s true! Because if it weren’t for the ripped skirt I would have never met the passenger with the double-sided sticky tape, and if hadn’t met the sticky tape man, I would have never met the beautiful young woman sitting beside him, a woman who will actually be competing for the Miss America title in January. And that’s how I almost – ALMOST – got wear a sparkling crown during the beverage service. Only something tells me if I had worn it, Andre would have snatched it away and placed it on his own bald head.
Yeah, that's me, the one standing in the aisle wearing flammable polyester...