A letter from a frequent-flyin’, two-timin’ cheat!

Dear Airline,

I remember the first day we met. It was love at first flight. We’ve shared countless hours together- oh the places we’ve gone. It’s been bumpy at times, but I always stuck up for you when people called you old and grumpy. I even stuck by you when you dropped service to Providence, my home town! But lately something has changed. You don’t treat me the way you used to. You started charging me for every little thing, even the things we used to enjoy for free. And now when I fly you, you seem to always be tired and give out on me before we even get anywhere. You’ve even gotten skimpy with the meals.

Well now there’s someone else. I won’t lie. Why you ask? Because she’s not falling apart. Her meals aren’t as good as yours, and sometimes I really DO miss your salty nuts, but the temptation is there. I know what you’re thinking, it’s that she can offer me the updated MD88 AND the MD90…and you can’t! It’s true, you’re right.

Maybe there’s still a chance for us- let’s fly it out. How about a day trip together. How about a nice double mad dog Chicago turn on my next day off? Lunch and Dinner on YOU? Maybe some wine? Let me know!

An “ex” frequent flier

Dear “ex” frequent flier,

I’m not the only one who has changed. Putting the blame on me is just so typical. There you sit with your salty nuts moaning and groaning about everything I do, meanwhile you haven’t put a hand in your pocket for years. You know you flew the lap of luxury for the cost of a coach ticket over the last ten years, never once thinking about how I’m always able to give, give, give and never ask for anything in return – other than your loyalty. As with every relationship something has to give!

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Heather Poole View All →

Yeah, that's me, the one standing in the aisle wearing flammable polyester...

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